24 things I've learned at 24.

Photo by: Alexa Jewel Films

For the past few years, after my birthday, I've put together a list of things I learned throughout the previous year of my life. In no specific order, here's 24 things I've learned at 24:

1. College flies by at top speed, and then like a lot of things, it just ends. When it did, I felt the abrupt drop deeply. I didn’t know what to do, but I think that’s okay. Sometimes it’s not easy to not know what’s next, but it’s okay to not know. Be where you are. And trust you’ll get to the next place and thing. 
2. Coffee dependency is real. Everyone around me isn’t lying when they tell you I turn into a different person after coffee every morning. 
3. People aren’t perfect. I’ll hurt people, and some will hurt me. I won’t understand some parts of the people I love, and they won’t understand some parts of me. It’s important to know that we’re made uniquely, so things won’t be perfect, and we won’t think the same. But we’re still here together. I believe I should love my people through everything I don’t understand about them, and I hope they’ll do the same to me.
4. But with #3 being said, relationships of every kind are hard. Sometimes loving a person well is working through the difficult stuff, and sometimes loving them well is walking away. Not holding bitterness towards them, but just walking away. Sometimes, moving on is just as okay as staying. Just make sure forgiveness is there and recognize that they deserve the best out of their story just as much as you deserve the best out of your own story. Your stories just may not overlap anymore. Cheering them on from afar is okay in some situations. In fact, when the best option is to walk away, learning to still cheer from afar for someone who hurt you, is a game changer.
5. Man, do I really love a good night’s sleep. No like, for real. Ask my family how seriously I take sleep.
6. 23 taught me to let go a little bit. Sometimes you should get your nose pierced on a random Thursday. And when you lose a bet and have to let your friends run an online dating profile for you, laugh about it (and then just delete it later). These are stories you’ll tell. Some small things won’t be the end of the world.
7. Did you know woodpeckers can peck through your chimney, and wake you up every morning at 6am with their pecking because your room is right next to the chimney?? Learned THAT this year.
8. Plans fall through. Things may not happen like you wanted them to. But try to live in anticipation. Because something is coming, and you should trust that it’s good.
9. Yes, I am an aspiring author. But for real: get lost in a good book. And then tell me what it was so I can get lost in it too. And y’all! Libraries!! They still exist, and they’re great.
10. Forgiving yourself and others can be hard. Do both.
11. A no is just as much of an answer as a yes. Failing can sometimes give you the answers you need. And that’s actually a positive thing.
12. I’ve said this one every year, but I will continue to say it: Friday Night Lights has yet to be topped as my favorite TV show.
13. I leaned to have extra hair ties on hand, always. For when my brother and cousin decide to try to have longer hair than me, and I have to show them which hair ties don’t suck.
14. If you feel behind in life, you’re not. You’re just comparing your path to someone else’s. We’re all on different ones, comparing won’t do you any good.
15. To go along with #6, if you get your nose pierced when your mom doesn’t want you to, she will ask you if you feel like you have a booger in your nose, for months.
16. Be honest with yourself and others about your emotions. Expressing the hard ones is okay. It is a good thing to do, as long as you don’t sit with them forever. At some point, you’ve got to pick things up, and do your best with what you’ve got. There is still good here. There is still joy. Your emotions, the good and bad, aren’t the sole determinant for everything. 
17. Have some of the same favorite bands as your parents. It leads to free concert tickets.
18. Give people room to mess up and to change. Because you’ll probably mess up at some point, and you will change, and you will need room to recover, too. Have grace. You are no less human than the next person.
19. Grit changes your game. Wake up when you don’t want to, workout when you’re tired, and practice your craft even on the days when anything else sounds better. You will be better for it, and I’ve never regretting the times when I decided to have it.
20. You’re never going to please everyone. There will be people who aren’t your biggest fan. But guess what? There are people who are your biggest fans. Focus on them. Trust them.
21. Write letters, send the text, dial the number, mail the package. Make sure people know you care. 
22. Home can be multiple places. Home can be people. Be thankful for all the ones you find.
23. I can’t cook. But I can air fry things! An Air fryer changed my life.
24. Nobody has it all figured out. I’m confused, and I’d put money on guessing that you are too. Even so, be here. Presence is important. Things are messy and scary, and none of us will ever have all the answers. But you and I can still do our best to be here. Even in tension, when you don’t understand, when you don’t agree, when you don’t know where to turn next: do your best to be here and to love first. At the end of the day, all I can do is trust. Trust that I am supposed to be where I am, and somehow, someway, God will sort out the things I can’t. ​